More Bad News
Well, seems like I'm out of the game for the shared risk. My day 3 fsh came back as 11. Yup, 11.
I'm screaming at the universe at the moment. I'm so hurt. In order for me to be accepted into the shared risk my day 3's needed to be under 10. One crappy little point. Seems to be the story of my life here lately. ALWAYS SOMETHING.
I'm so over it.
I mean I guess I could go through with the septum surgery. Spend tons of money for a single cycle. And just go for it. But, I feel in my heart, I don't have a snowball's chance in hell of this working for me.
You know people ask all of the time, when is enough really enough? They say you know when enough is enough. Well, I could not be hearing it any louder at the moment. My mind/intuition is screaming enough!
Like I was telling a wonderful friend of mine today. If I haven't had 3 surgeries in the past, the ectopic's, the m/c's, the failed IVF cycles, and the money flushed down the drain. I would be open arms about the situation.
I wouldn't think twice about moving forward. But, as I sit here this evening. I'm finding myself wanting to adopt more and more. I've had it, I'm spent, and I'm sick of all these fucking procedures. I don't want any more surgeries and I don't want anymore failed cycles. Enough.
I'm so desperate. I'm actually thinking of calling PITA sister and asking her if she remembers the talk we had when she offered to be a surrogate for B and I. She's a total nut job. But, if it involves a baby making it to term, I'm all for it.
If it gets me out of another invasive surgery, even better! Hey, If I'm really sweet maybe she'll donate her eggs also. Don't really think mine are going to do the trick.
I just don't think I can handle this anymore. I'm going to have to get some things sorted out.
Like, just really how much we can afford.
My main objective about the about entering the shared risk. If it didn't work, I would receive money back and then could afford to adopt.
Well, that plan is scratch...
So, now it's either
1) Adoption
2) Have surgery, do a single cycle and call it quits. Take another year off to save money to be able to afford to adopt.
3) Gestational surrogate, which I'm thinking is even more expensive than adoption, and still no guarantee.
I don't know what all number 3 would involve. I guess I should research a little. Now with my fsh being so shitty, plus the uterus, I don't even know which way to turn.
I know I'm probably not making much sense. Because it's not making much sense to me at the moment. I just know my mind is screaming.
KIM YOU'RE SERIOUSLY FUCKED!
I'm screaming at the universe at the moment. I'm so hurt. In order for me to be accepted into the shared risk my day 3's needed to be under 10. One crappy little point. Seems to be the story of my life here lately. ALWAYS SOMETHING.
I'm so over it.
I mean I guess I could go through with the septum surgery. Spend tons of money for a single cycle. And just go for it. But, I feel in my heart, I don't have a snowball's chance in hell of this working for me.
You know people ask all of the time, when is enough really enough? They say you know when enough is enough. Well, I could not be hearing it any louder at the moment. My mind/intuition is screaming enough!
Like I was telling a wonderful friend of mine today. If I haven't had 3 surgeries in the past, the ectopic's, the m/c's, the failed IVF cycles, and the money flushed down the drain. I would be open arms about the situation.
I wouldn't think twice about moving forward. But, as I sit here this evening. I'm finding myself wanting to adopt more and more. I've had it, I'm spent, and I'm sick of all these fucking procedures. I don't want any more surgeries and I don't want anymore failed cycles. Enough.
I'm so desperate. I'm actually thinking of calling PITA sister and asking her if she remembers the talk we had when she offered to be a surrogate for B and I. She's a total nut job. But, if it involves a baby making it to term, I'm all for it.
If it gets me out of another invasive surgery, even better! Hey, If I'm really sweet maybe she'll donate her eggs also. Don't really think mine are going to do the trick.
I just don't think I can handle this anymore. I'm going to have to get some things sorted out.
Like, just really how much we can afford.
My main objective about the about entering the shared risk. If it didn't work, I would receive money back and then could afford to adopt.
Well, that plan is scratch...
So, now it's either
1) Adoption
2) Have surgery, do a single cycle and call it quits. Take another year off to save money to be able to afford to adopt.
3) Gestational surrogate, which I'm thinking is even more expensive than adoption, and still no guarantee.
I don't know what all number 3 would involve. I guess I should research a little. Now with my fsh being so shitty, plus the uterus, I don't even know which way to turn.
I know I'm probably not making much sense. Because it's not making much sense to me at the moment. I just know my mind is screaming.
KIM YOU'RE SERIOUSLY FUCKED!
posted by Kimmer at 6:41 PM
8 Comments:
I am so sorry. 11! That just sucks. I wish there was something I could do to help you through this.
Oh, Kim. I'm just so sorry, my friend. I honestly don't get why some of us never seem to be able to catch a break. I don't think I ever will. We're here for you, chica.
Well Kim, once again you and I are at the same point. I want you to know that my surrogacy stuff is going VERY well so far. There are a lot of steps but so far, so good. DH and I are not ready to even discuss adoption. If we were we may have just gone that route. Surrogacy just seemed like the next logical step to us because our embryos are fine it is just my uterus that kills them. Take me out of the equation and things should work...I hope. I am so sorry you are having to deal with all of this. You are in my prayers. You have some big decisions to make.
Sorry honey as you know. My assvice? Get a bottle of wine and take the weekend off thinking about it. Oh, you're going away, right?
Kim, I'm so sorry. Good luck with making decisions... hope you have enough wine for the weekend.
Dear Kim, I'm so sorry about this. It's so awful to make a huge decision like this with so many variables, but that seems to be one of the many burdens of IF.
If you feel that you can't handle it anymore, and that enough is enough, I would agree that it might help to step away from this for a while and revisit it when you've had a chance to regroup. It's best not to make these potentially far-reaching decisions under any kind of pressure.
I'm so sorry, my dear. Sending you lot of good, supportive thoughts.
It's crappy news, I'm so sorry. But it doesn't mean things are over for you, it just means that it's going to be a hard hit financially. Take some time to recover from the news, then think about what you REALLY REALLY want, then take whatever steps it takes to make that happen.
It's crappy news, I'm so sorry. But it doesn't mean things are over for you, it just means that it's going to be a hard hit financially. Take some time to recover from the news, then think about what you REALLY REALLY want, then take whatever steps it takes to make that happen.
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