Nothing to blog about...

Except what I need to blog about and I can't... I can't talk about a horrible situation going on in my life right now and I want too.
Fuck it.. I can always delete!
I don't want to be the desperate infertile woman...
My sister in law has had various things happening in her life. Okay, she caught a marijuana charge, parrafenal(spelling?) charge, and open container charge on Sunday when her daughter was in my care. She's living with a hoodlum, and has no car. Nice hoodlum live in boyfriend wrecked it. She has assault on a female charges pending on her(because she smashed a beer bottle over a girl's head at a bar) and she has no job. She had seizures two weeks ago from a anti-depressant she was on. And she has witnessed a double homicide(drug deal gone really fucking bad) several years ago when my brother and her were separated.
Not that I can say my brother is/was a saint. He's a crack/cocaine/pill/ weed whatever he could get his hands on addict. He's been in rehab. for almost a year now... He's got another year or two to go. He could walk out anytime so I know in my heart he is seriously trying his best.
Here's my situation. My niece is in a seriously fucked up situation. This child I feel if she stays in the environment she is in will be totally screwed. It literally makes me sick to my stomach to think of this little girl living in this type of shit!
I have a good friend who is an attorney that just happens deal with custody issues. He's more than happy to help me fight for this little one.
I have the blessings of my brother and my family to fight for her. But, this is where it gets shitty. If I loose, I could really loose. I mean I could risk possibly not seeing this child or her being a part of her life.
I don't want to do this for my own reasons. But, it literally breaks my heart because this child deserves much better.
I have so much shit on sister in law, it's unreal... Social services has already been called on sil twice. She managed to pass a drug test, how? Who knows....
I'm thoroughly confused as to where to proceed. I'm dammed if I do, and damned if I don't.
I talk to my attorney friend on Monday to see what options I have.
The thought of never seeing this child literally petrifies me. Also, the thought of having to battle things out in court aren't to appealing either.
I have squeaky clean record and so does Brian. I just know the fact that I'm infertile will become an issue at some point. I discussed that with B tonight. But, if the whole story comes out, it will really be clear that I'm not a mad woman trying to kid snatch. I'm a very sad scared Aunt that loves my niece and only wants what is best for her.