Green Light GO!
So all is good. This morning's appointment with the wand went well. My lining is nice and thin, no cysts, and the bloodwork should be in this afternoon. They said no news is good news. I was giving a prescription for Estrace and told to take 2 a day until Monday. Then I start 3 a day.
Next appointment is Thursday at 10am.
My nurse asked as she was drawing my blood, " Are you excited?" Well, to tell you the truth not really. I told her this had been a very long road, and I've learned it's not fun to get your hopes up. The crash is too damn hard to handle. She didn't comment back and looked kind of saddened for me.
This feels totally weird. Like I am just doing nothing. I guess when the PIO starts, I'll feel a little better. I think I could get use to FET's. Too bad I might not ever cycle again.
This is kind of sad, I was thinking about this during my long drive back from the RE's. This is it. If this doesn't work, it's going to be some serious time before I can afford or attempt to cycle again. Plus, I feel like we have already sunk so much money in the efforts already, what is the point to really break the bank? Not that there is a whole lot left in the bank. But, to have nothing to show for it but a lot of heartache is getting old.
Yes, I want a child, but I really want to be able to afford the child when it arrives. I don't see another cycle this year. That's for sure. And I know with moving forward with the adoption process I won't feel like I'm dumping money on nothing. So if this cycle is a negative it might be a little tuffer than the last(if it can get worse). I know I should think positive, but after so many failures I can't!
Maybe when things get a little closer hope might set back in, but for now. I'll stick with the numbness and semi-excitement of this whole process. Hope sucks....
Next appointment is Thursday at 10am.
My nurse asked as she was drawing my blood, " Are you excited?" Well, to tell you the truth not really. I told her this had been a very long road, and I've learned it's not fun to get your hopes up. The crash is too damn hard to handle. She didn't comment back and looked kind of saddened for me.
This feels totally weird. Like I am just doing nothing. I guess when the PIO starts, I'll feel a little better. I think I could get use to FET's. Too bad I might not ever cycle again.
This is kind of sad, I was thinking about this during my long drive back from the RE's. This is it. If this doesn't work, it's going to be some serious time before I can afford or attempt to cycle again. Plus, I feel like we have already sunk so much money in the efforts already, what is the point to really break the bank? Not that there is a whole lot left in the bank. But, to have nothing to show for it but a lot of heartache is getting old.
Yes, I want a child, but I really want to be able to afford the child when it arrives. I don't see another cycle this year. That's for sure. And I know with moving forward with the adoption process I won't feel like I'm dumping money on nothing. So if this cycle is a negative it might be a little tuffer than the last(if it can get worse). I know I should think positive, but after so many failures I can't!
Maybe when things get a little closer hope might set back in, but for now. I'll stick with the numbness and semi-excitement of this whole process. Hope sucks....
posted by Kimmer at 1:22 PM
1 Comments:
Hope does suck. The last cycle (or what could be the last cycle) is so fucking hard. We're here for you, though, chica.
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